My name is Sara, and at the age of 40 I
decided to take a good look at my life and think about
what I really wanted and needed for a change.
You see, I'd been wife and mother for almost two decades,
devoting all my time and energy to the needs of others,
organizing family life and making the way smooth for my
husband, who makes a good living in the computer industry
here in Austin. Things have gone well for us, but as that
big number 40 approached, I began to feel a lack. The
kids were old enough to be on their own, and having the
luxury for time and thought, I realized that I needed
something more.
I had spent a number of years distracting myself from some
very basic needs, but the plain fact of the matter is that
my husband, though he has the big brain and the good job,
is sorely lacking in other areas. I am not sure he would
even know how to satisfy me, even if he had the right
equipment for the job.
I've done well by him, and he has always taken pride in
the fact that I take care of myself and still look very
good, but I also began to notice the looks I was getting
from others, mainly my son's friends. I have to admit it
made me feel very desirable to know I could have that
effect. Not that I would ever act on the impulse with one
of my son's friends, but it made me think about my
situation and what was lacking even more.
We have been together so long, love each other (in our
own way) and I did not really want the marriage to end.
I decided if this was going to work I needed to talk to
my husband. I needed to make him understand I needed
more from him, from our marriage. The odd thing was, my
husband was aware of the problems too.
We talked about my desire to have a sex life again, how
once or twice a month was not enough. I was afraid to
tell him, but finally I told him that I thought I needed
a bigger lover to satisfy me also. He admitted that he
didn't have the right stuff as far as equipment goes. I
was surprised by what he was saying. But I must say
this, I had new respect for him.
He poured his heart out. He told me about all the
pressure he was under. He felt he had to be the one in
charge, making all the decisions at work and at home. He
needed a break. He had considered going to a mistress to
experiment. That was shocking to me, that my husband
needed something more as well.
But then he said he thought there might be a solution
and we could stay together and help each other. I could
get what I needed, all the men necessary, as long as he
could watch. It turned out that he was tired of the way
things were, too, working all the time with no relief
and all the responsibility. So we came to an
arrangement:
He would work for me, give his money to me and give
me complete control of all financial and
sexual decisions. In return, I would let him watch
me with the men I take to our bed every day, and I
would make sure they all know how very small he is,
and that he is watching every move. I measure each
man to show him how much bigger they are. We set up
web cams around the bedroom so he can see it all
with a keystroke from his laptop. It wouldn't do to
have that on his work computer! And I make sure he
sees everything...
They are never here when he gets home from work or
when our children are at home.
So now we have an arrangement that suits us both.
Maybe you reached a point in your life where a certain
dissatisfaction came over you, and you want to talk
about it with me. It's been two years since my
husband and I made our first deal, and almost a year
since my husband made his own needs know to me. I get
it. I would never have thought that I'd be where I am
now, but here I am.
And here you are. So call me... and tell me all about
it...
